In early February, I decided to hang out with a very close friend of mine. We both have a rule with any of our friends, you drink you stay. So we drank…and I stayed the night. It’s still a little bit of a drunken blur what happened…but I remember most of it. We started talking…started cuddling while watching a movie…next thing you know, we start kissing. And then it escalates. Neither one of us thought to use protection during our drunken moment. See, I’ve always gotten tested before and after each partner…and my partners always did the same. I knew I was negative at this point….but we hadn’t talked about it, and I was having a stupid moment and didn’t even ask him about it.
A day or two later…he tells me about a weird bump that comes up. So I decided to get tested once more. I came out negative….I thought I was in the clear. 2 weeks later we decide to hang out again…same scenario as the first time.
3 days later….I GET A BUMP. I didn’t know what it was…I thought since I was “in the clear” that it must be an ingrown hair…and I wait it out. I was sick as all get out the entire week. Day 7 of this I go to the local clinic
They say that I need to wait exactly 30 days from the first time anything happened. BUT….that it looks exactly like herpes. They couldn’t culture it because it would cause me too much pain. They said it was already starting to heel. They prescribed me valtrex. So I take 2 pills for the next few days until it was gone.
The next 3 days were hell for me. My son was gone to his dad’s so I was alone. I sat in my room and cried. I locked myself away from the world, barely ate, barely slept….sat around and played games and listened to music….tried my damnedest to get things off my mind. Towards the end of day 3 though, I decided to pick myself up.
I did my research on this…I found out it really isn’t as horrible as society thinks. I also found support groups. They got me through so much. 30 day mark hit, I got tested…a few days later results were in, and I was positive. Initially I cried there for a couple hours….but then I jumped online to my support groups, and those tears went away. Within the nest week, while on a support group, I met a very nice guy. We talked for a couple hours, and then told me about facebook groups. I wanted to meet more people, so I said please, add me!! It’s been almost exactly 3 months since I was brought into this community, and since then, I have grown to love my life so much more now that I have this. Most all the people I’ve met so far are so genuine. They’ve all welcomed me with open arms, and accepted me for who I am.
I first thought my life was over, and now? I see that it’s just beginning :)